After reading about all the “interesting” situations going on with this preseason and major league baseball teams traveling to Asia (Chan Ho Park incident, Red Sox incident), the Sportsblahg feels it is necessary to help Major League Baseball better pick locations for next season’s pre-season run around:
Cuba: Nothing says, “Let’s bury the hatchet” like a good old fashion pre-season baseball game. After all, most of the folks in Cuba never get to see an MLB game (due to some sort of “full-time blackout”). It would be a perfect opportunity to show the Cubans how awesome baseball can be when you have access to and the financial backing to inject yourself full of performance enhancing drugs (instead of finding out once they defect). For MLB it would be a great recruiting opportunity that I’m sure philanthropists like Drew Rosenhaus and Scott Boras would champion (since they’re all about helping others, mostly their clients). Not to mention, there could be a great barter deal to get Cuban cigars for the world series champions (certainly another great way to entice teams to play).- Alaska: Sure it is part of the United States of America, but it is not connected and it sure doesn’t have a major league team present, so why not give the folks way up north (eh) a shot at watching some professional baseball? I understand the weather up there is not exactly “nice” during the month of March for baseball to be played, but hey, that’s why we created domes right? That or let’s just use a yellow/orange ball and shovel off the base paths. Everyone likes a high scoring game, imagine how fun it would be to watch Jose Reyes try and steal in 3 feet of snow!
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Australia: Good day mates! Nothing like a little American baseball “down unda”. Perhaps Paul Hogan could throw out the firsr pitch? And maybe umpire too (no one is going to mess with him and that blade of his). Not to mention Australia’s team did abysmal in the high touted, but pretty awful World Baseball Classic (they finished 0-3). So it would be nice for them to get a chance to watch a team of players that at least win once (See how good you have it Royals fans?). Not to mention, it would really allow for a plethora of cool baseball phrases like, “Ryan Howard, deep to right, it’s back, it’s back, put another shrimp on the barbie!!!”, now if that isn’t beautiful, I don’t know what is. - Germany: It’ll be great, we’ll get David Hasselhoff to sing the national anthem, throw out the first pitch, and perform during the 7th inning stretch. Because, as to quote Norm MacDonald, “German’s love David Hasselhoff”. I just got this feeling that it’ll work.
- South Africa: If for no other reason of being able to call it another “fall classic”. No other real reason necessary.
Dubai: They’ve got ridiculously nice hotels, stunning beaches, an indoor ski mountain, and most of all, an outrageous amount of money. Having it in Dubai, would be like having it at a combination of Las Vegas blvd and south beach. Granted the players would play terribly, but hey, whose really at a baseball game to watch baseball?- Las Vegas: So what if baseball is getting over identity issues with rampant steroid use? Let’s turn those athletes loose on Las Vegas and see what happens. What, wait? They don’t have a major league sized baseball field in Las Vegas? They only have horse tracks and golf courses? Too bad.
Mr. Selig, I hope you’re paying attention, the Sportsblahg can’t be repeating themselves next year.
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