Here’s this week’s look at how the bottom of the league is faring, named after the person ESPN’s Scouts Inc. feel will be the number one pick in the draft. Because how long can you only deal with the hype for the Most Important Regular Season Game In The History of The National Football League, Super Bowl XLI1/2. More on that later.
32. Miami Dolphins (0-8)
The good news: They beat the spread! The Giants, clearly jet-lagged after taking a 13-0 lead, snoozed long enough to allow a Ted Ginn Jr. sighting and a backdoor cover.
The bad news: Still winless, still no Ronnie Brown, and jokes all weekend about “Well, before the league puts a pro team in London, they should put one in Miami.”
Outlook: As for actually winning a game, the Jets are still on the schedule, so fear not. As for the future, while Cleo Lemon has been somewhat respectable, it may be time to see what rookie John Beck can offer. Now, if the old Dolphins can get off their back…
31. St. Louis Rams (0-8)
The good news: They won’t lose next weekend, as they have a bye. They look like a viable team when Steven Jackson plays, like today against Cleveland.
The bad news: Steven Jackson got hurt again.
Outlook: The Falcons are on the schedule, so “the perfect season” may not be within their reach, especially if they can get somewhat healthy. They have too many good players not to win one stinking game, yet they will still draft high enough to get a quality offensive lineman.
30. New York Jets (1-7)
The good news: Thomas Jones is apparently alive.
The bad news: Eric Mangini doesn’t believe in using him the entire game.
Outlook: Well, they’ve won a game, so things aren’t that desperate. But, other than that, there’s really nothing to look forward to but a high draft pick…which you know they’ll probably trade down to get lots of other cheaper players. Awesome.
29. Atlanta Falcons (1-6)
The good news: Didn’t lose, although D’Angelo Hall probably did get a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct at a “gentlemen’s club”.
The bad news: They will come back from the bye with the same team.
Outlook: This is a team that will be ‘evaluating players’, so you never know what to expect. After surviving the latest Byron Leftwich injury, they may be able to pick things up and end the year on a good note.
28. San Francisco 49ers (2-5)
The good news: The defense plays hard, and Mike Nolan’s suits look pretty sharp.
The bad news: They couldn’t score if they were locked in a champagne room with Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Alex Smith’s return was of no help whatsoever.
Outlook: Well, this year’s “sleeper” has gone to sleep. Now, it may be time for the 49er brain trust to see if Smith really is the future, or they’ll have to consider looking for another quarterback.
Don’t worry, TDMS will return next week in the face of The Most Important Regular Season Game In The History of the National Football League! Well, we’ll be paying attention here. Okay, perhaps with one eye.
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